Bat your eyes

I've heard it all now. On the way home from work I heard an ad on the radio for "semi-permanent eyelash extentions". Oh my stars. I never thought I'd see the day when we in America are so incredibly VAIN that we need to have hair tied on to our eyes. I'll bet Bette Davis would have jumped all over this one. Think of Tammy Faye Baker! She would have asked for the deluxe model. "Please, sir I want them to touch the person I'm talking to when I blink." Gives a new meaning to "bat your eyelashes". Now you can literally "bat" the person you're near. Don't like when your neighbor let their dog duke on your lawn? Blink at 'em. "Johnny, if you do that again, so help me, I'm gonna close my eyes!" Glasses would have to be a thing of the past--who could wear them? You would have so much mascara on the lenses you wouldn't be able to see a thing.
I wonder what is next? Maybe the new thing will be eyebrows like the Juiceman on those infomercials. Eeeww.