No Way Play

Have you heard of this?

The Book of Mormon

Some guy ("Elder") from the Mormon church just called here and asked if they could come to our church and have a question and answer session, because "there are many misunderstandings about Mormonism" in churches.

He alluded that the Mormon church is getting very popular; "We have a number one Broadway show going on right now" (even though he admitted that as an Elder, he did not watch tv or listen to the radio).

Well.

I Googled this particular Broadway play, which is written by the writers of South Park and if I were a Mormon, I would not be touting this play to get people to come to my church.

It would be like asking people to watch "The Last Temptation of Christ" to try to win people to Jesus.

Here is the Synopsis of Act I--taken from Wikipedia:

Synopsis

Act I

At the LDS Church Missionary Training Center in Provo, a devout, enthusiastic, handsome, pompous, over-confident missionary-to-be, Elder Kevin Price, leads his classmates in a demonstration of the door-to-door to attempt to convert people to Mormonism (“Hello”). One of the missionaries, Elder Arnold Cunningham, is an insecure, overweight, irritating liar who tries to join in, but is completely hopeless. Price believes that if he prays enough, he will be sent to Orlando, Florida ("Two By Two"); instead, Price and Cunningham are paired together and are sent to Uganda, Africa. After saying goodbye to their families, the two missionaries board a plane at the Salt Lake City airport. Price is sure he's destined to do something incredible, while Cunningham is just happy to have a best friend — one he met just the previous day. ("You And Me (But Mostly Me)").

Upon arrival in northern Uganda, the two are robbed at gunpoint by soldiers of a local warlord, General Butt-Fucking-Naked (which in false Ugandan is supposed to mean “bringer of doom” and is an allusion to the real General Butt Naked). After meeting their guide, Mafala Hatimbi, he and a group of villagers share their daily realities of living in appalling conditions of famine,poverty and AIDS, while being ruled by a despotic, murderous chieftain. The native Ugandans curse their existence by saying “Fuck you, God!” (“Hasa Diga Eebowai”). The Ugandans cope with their miserable lives by feigning happiness. Nabulungi, Hatimbi's daughter, shows Price and Cunningham to their living quarters. There, they meet the fellow missionaries stationed in the area, who have been unable to convert the locals to Mormonism. Elder McKinley, the district leader, offers Price and Cunningham a widely accepted method of dealing with the challenges of Mormon life (including McKinley's own repressed homosexual thoughts), inviting them to “Turn It Off” like a light switch. The others agree that their feelings must be hidden, at all costs. Though Price is riddled with anxiety, Cunningham reassures him, reminding him that he is his best friend and he will make an incredible impact on the village ("I Am Here for You").

Price is certain that he can succeed where the other Mormon Elders have failed, teaching the Ugandans about Joseph Smith, the "All-American Prophet". The Ugandans find him arrogant and are not impressed. Shortly after Price's attempt to dazzle the villagers, General Butt-Fucking-Naked arrives and announces his demand for the circumcision of all female villagers by week's end. The General silences the villagers' protests by killing one of them. Safely back at home, Nabulungi, moved by Price's promise of an earthly paradise, dreams of a better life in a new land (“Sal Tlay Ka Siti”). The villagers' needs are too much for Price, who decides to abandon his mission brother and request to be transferred to Orlando. Cunningham, ever loyal, assures Price he'll follow him anywhere. Price unceremoniously dumps his mission companion. Finding himself alone and heartbroken, Cunningham gains the courage to “Man Up” and take control when Nabulungi comes to him wanting to learn more.

I won't be running to the ticket booth, believe me.