You know those Dove chocolates that have those simpering sayings on the inside of the wrapper?
Well.
I am not a fan of them and find myself rolling my eyes at them whenever I open one. Gag.
So.
I propose another type of wrapper. The Dove Ugly Truths.
You call that a haircut?
Don't turn around, you won't like what you see.
Those pants are too tight.
You know, stuff like that.
Sometimes you just have to go there.
13 comments:
Here are mine:
Watch out!
Were you planning to wear lipstick today?
He's not your real father.
You're the reason daddy drank.
Yes, that one might be over the line, but you all be the judge.
And another:
Why don't you just slap this chocolate on your butt? That's where it's going to end up anyway.
Did your stylist mean to cut your hair like that?
Rupaul's got the same outfit.
I see disappointment in your future.
No, really.
You've got something stuck in your teeth.
You're eating another one of these?
Nobody wants to hear about your kids anymore. Really.
You could really use a breath mint.
Overeater's Anonymous
Call 1-800-xxx-xxxx
Have you looked into laser hair removal?
I see rejection in your future.
The salesgirl was lying.
Your friends tolerate you for free rides to the mall.
I think this is very revealing about your personal insecurities.
Fat and happy?
No proven link between chocolate and diabetes.
Dove! The drug you can use at work.
Kathyleena, that last one made me burst out in laughter.
Don't let your mind wander,
it's to small to be out on it's own.
Caleb Zimmermann
I do not exercise because it would make my coffee spill.
I've stopped listening, why haven't you stopped talking?
CCZ
I'm so happy you're not a twin.
Post a Comment