Friday, January 09, 2009

Suck Dam

Oh that title makes me laugh, I crack myself up. But I digress.

Today as I was vacuuming the basement--after I DUSTED the basement--I know, right? The vacuum seemed a bit loud and screamy and wasn't picking up crap (hehheh). I stopped and took the back apart and looked for a clog. Clear as a bell, ok, an extremely dusty bell. Put the thing back together again and it just wouldn't pick anything up! I took the bottom section apart and found the problem, which prompts this letter:

Dear Eli,
When you vacuum the basement please refrain from vacuuming up the caps of water bottles. Attempting to suck up things of this magnitude creates an unimaginable dam in the workings of the vacuum, which in turn creates frustration for your loving mother. Said dam was big enough that I had to go get a pair of scissors from my glasswork area to clear the thing. I would have used a needlenose pliers, however those had been used by your loving father and not returned, which prompted a chat with your loving father about taking your loving mother's tools and not returning them.
In the future you will have much more practice at vacuuming, and if the aforementioned rule is not followed, practice taking the vacuum apart and clearing your own dam.
Love Mom

6 comments:

zcoffeegirl said...

Dear Loving Mother,
That was quite creative on your part.
OMS...one of the funnier posts. You made my day!

Katie R. said...

Yep, you should really have your own show. The Kristi Noser Show. I think the Stream kids and Poppers could be the regular stars. You could have a guest star every week and there ya have it.

Hannahjane said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELI!
may you have fewer suck dams in your future.

finally made a blog ma, just for you.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Katie R. That would be hilarious and you would have many viewers.

Anonymous said...

Ok here should be the trash can comment.

kristi noser said...

It's on the other post, Bill, but I know what you meant. No worries.