Anyone who has spent all flippin' day on the freeway can get where I am going (pun!) today.
Minnesota Drivers, repeat after me:
"I am not the only person on the freeway."
"I need to drive as if I AM NOT THE ONLY PERSON ON THE FREEWAY."
Twelve hours of driving on the freeway yesterday, and the majority of drivers who really made me grit my teeth --and sometimes more--had MN license plates. Who teaches these people to drive, BOZO? Now I know that not all drivers who reside in the state of MN have idiot driving practices, but believe me, there are too flippin' many. Therefore I have written a few, let's call them reminders, for our friends across the river.
1. Your newfangled vehicular structure is equipped with turn signals (you might call them "blinkers") on either side of the structure, located at both the front and back. They are easily manipulated by a small stick on the left side of the steering column. When you intend to change lanes, turn a corner, or pull in front of another car with less than a quarter-car length to spare, please employ this device.
2. When you intend to pull in front of another car, or follow another car, make sure you do so with more than a quarter-car length to spare.
3. When passing a semi truck that is governed at 64 mph, you may go faster than 65mph to avoid a twenty car line behind you.
4. When driving in the left lane, at 65mph as you will do all the time, don't shake your head at me when I pass you on the right. You should be there, not me.
5. When you pass me like I'm standing still when I am traveling at 70mph and further down the road I see flashing blue and red lights behind you, I am going to laugh really hard. You earned it.
6. Your $60,000 Mercedes SUV will go faster than 60 mph. Trust me.
Now I feel a little better.
7 comments:
Amen to #5 and #6!
You're soo funny. I thought I was just listening to my husband talk about "Wisconsin" drivers. He says the same things! Its obviously both states that have these "donkey-kind-of-hee-haw-drivers" I'm glad I'm not one-aren't you?
These apply to drivers EVERYWHERE. I know, as I drive for a living. Another one to add is this. When a truck is passing you, don't match his spped and stick him in the left lane. Either speed up to stay ahead of him or let him pass. Most of us have pretty good self-control. There are others, however, who won't hesitate to "thin the herd", as it were. And, afterall, we ARE bigger! LOL
Good post Kristi!
I said I was sorry. Sheesh.
Hahahaha. I've never driven in MN, but I'd like to assure you that drivers in UT could GREATLY benefit from your "reminders."
Nicely done.
My wife is from Wisconsin and would gladly give similar advice to those from Illinois. Having said that, I think those rules also apply to Marylanders that attempt to drive in the Commonwealth of Virginia.
Cheers,
GF
(I found you via Brillig)
gunfighter,
I found the Illinois drivers (this time) to be surprisingly polite. As long as I went 70 in the 45 mph speed zone that is...
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